BRADLEY BALLESTEROS

BRADLEY BALLESTEROS, HILO RESIDENT & RETIRED HAWAII POLICE DEPARTMENT OFFICER

Coming from a dysfunctional family and growing up in a foster home on Oahu in the 1940s, mom never talked much about her early years. She vaguely talked about it but only when asked.

Two years ago, my daughter-in-law interviewed mom to document family history and her life experiences.

During the interview, much to Tania’s surprise, mom blurts out, “Bradley’s father is not his real father.”

Mom explained, in her early 20s, she dated someone. He later enlisted in the Marines and left Hawaii. Shortly after, she found out she was pregnant with me. She was scared, alone, unwed and didn’t know how to contact her boyfriend. While pregnant, she met Fulgencio C. Ballesteros, my dad.

Mom and dad married before I was born and moved to Kohala. They were married for 36 years until dad’s passing in 1988. My parents never spoke about my biological father.

Mom later found out from her Oahu friends that my biological dad returned to Hawaii looking for her. Her friends didn’t know how to contact mom and didn’t know she had married and moved to Kohala on the Big Island.

During the interview, Tania asked mom if she remembered my biological dad’s name. She replied, “Benjamin Combes,” and even remembered his birthday.

Tania started her research and found a Benjamin Combes. She traced him to LA and CA and identified possible family members. She reached out to them hoping for a response. After several months, contact was made. Tania shared mom’s story and the results of her research. Although initially skeptical, the Combes family members were intrigued, enough for a DNA test.

After weeks of anticipation for the DNA results, we found out it was a match. Now after being an “only child” all my life, I suddenly have a brother and 7 sisters.

I sense that mom is relieved that her “secret” is out. She apologized to me for not telling me all these years. She said she didn’t tell me because she didn’t want me to be angry at her for her “mistake.” Quite a burden for a mother to bear for a lifetime. I reassured her no matter what I love her and the recent revelation only makes me love her more.

Mom often wondered what happened to my biological dad and now has closure. He passed away in 2009.

Coincidentally before the DNA connection was made my youngest sister had already made plans with her husband and friends to vacation in Kona, Hawaii. We met up several times. It was like we knew each other all our lives. Those few meetings paved the way for me to travel to San Dimas, CA, to meet the rest of my Combes family. My son Dustin, Tania and Doreen accompanied me. Plans were made to have a Ballesteros/Combes family get together, but due to the coronavirus pandemic, it has been placed on hold for now.

This chapter of my life is to be continued … .

PHOTO ONE: This is a photo of my mom.

PHOTO TWO: Mom and I on Mother's Day.

PHOTO THREE: This is a picture of me and my siblings. We are lined up according to age.

PHOTO FOUR: Grave site of my biological father in LA.